New Rear, Er New Year’s Resolutions From Me, Darcy, and Ronan

My New Rear’s Resolutions (along with Darcy and Ronan’s, too)

1) Don’t take myself too seriously. Crack unwise, fart wisely, and never explain sarcasm to anyone who doesn’t get it.

2) Breathe, eat, walk, and maybe try to build some upper body strength though how I will do that I don’t know yet.

3) Organize my earring collection because I tipped over the tackle box I use as an earring case and it’s a total mess inside. When I’ll do this, I don’t know.

4) Write, and finish writing so I can put said writing on the internet in places where people might pay for it or I can earn money from it in some way.

5) Earn money to buy a van to convert into a house on wheels. Call said house on wheels ‘The Turtle’ because I move about as fast as one.

6) Make sure my new rear is the same as my old rear: big, fat, and floofy.

Darcy’s Resolutions:

1) Love mommy and Ronan.

2) Always eat all the yummy food I can find on the ground outside.

3) Sniff all the doggy-wiener scent I can.

4) Bark at all the people and noises that annoy me.

5) Make sure to always be a diva with an attitude.

Ronan’s Resolutions:

1) Eat all the food in the dish even if that makes me look like I swallowed a basketball (whatever that is)

2) Keep Darcy company when mom is on the road and let her pet me on occasion.

3) Sleep during the day but wake mom up in the middle of the night.

4) Keep using mom’s purse as a scratching post. Hey, it works pretty well for me.

5) Be sure to always fart and blame the dog (she’ll just smile about it anyway)


Happy New Rear, er New Year from Me, Darcy, and Ronan

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