A Letter From a Member of ‘The Breakfast Club’

Dear Principle Vernon,

The day before yesterday a video was posted on Twitter of Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-New York) dancing around on a rooftop with other young people. The video was an ‘attempt’ at discrediting her as a ‘commie socialist’ for dancing.

First, I’d like to note here the original Twitter twit who posted that video got their movie metaphors mixed up because this twit thought they were Reverend Shaw from ‘Footloose’ in posting a video that was a tribute to ‘The Breakfast Club’. But you do bear a strong resemblance to Reverend Shaw Moore from ‘Footloose’ in that you are an uptight judgmental prick like he was. The only difference between you and Reverend Shaw is that his ban on dancing was sadly rooted in mis-directed grief while your asshole behavior was rooted in unfulfilled expectations of your life after high school. Either way, both of you need to be schooled on why you’re still wrong after all these years.

I want to say I, and so many other people were glad we could laugh at the faux-outrage you tried to create with posting a video of a young woman dancing. But sadly that laugher died as we realized you were still silent about the admitted drunken and horrible behavior of the newest judge on the United States Supreme Court, and other shitty behavior of you and your fellow icky-ilk. You write all this terrible behavior off even as you try to generate a shit-storm over a young woman dancing to cover that up.

This is why I agree with my fellow Breakfast Club member here John Bender in telling you to eat my shorts on this one. You, Principle Vernon, and those like you have no real credibility anymore because you condemn the wrong things. You are also so full of shit that eating a little more from me probably won’t make any difference to you.

For a few moments here, I’m going to suspend the laughter, wise-cracks, and profane language to explain what condemning dancing and laughter can lead to:

I’m reading the book ‘I Am Malala’ by Malala Yousufzai. Malala was shot by a member of the Pakistani Taliban at the age of fifteen after speaking out against those demons for the right of girls to go to school. In her book, Malala tells the story of how the Taliban came to the Swat Valley where she lived and of the many horrible things they did in addition to killing and bombing, they also banned music, movies, television, dancing, and laughter. Bur the most chilling part of this book I’ve read so far is how she told of members of the Taliban patrolling the streets listening for the sounds of children laughing inside their houses so they could burst in and tell them to stop, and threaten to kill them in front of their parents.

And Principle Vernon, before you can say that would never happen here, don’t. This is why I, along with Representative Ocasio-Cortez, and millions of others resist those like you as hard as we do. It’s why we laugh first, then call you out on your attempts to oppress us. Because first you’ll condemn the music and the dancing, and then the laughter.

You condemn us along with our laughter and our dancing because like the original members of ‘The Breakfast Club’, you see us how you want to see us, but not as who we are. We are more than jocks, princesses, geeks, basket-cases, and criminals. We’re human, and the huge and vast majority of us live with kindness, compassion, empathy, and conscience in our hearts. We laugh and cry, love and dance in sadness and joy.

So Principle Vernon, I would tell you to take your faux outrage and shove it up your ass but I will tell you this instead: take the stick out of your ass. You’ll feel so much better and maybe just maybe, you’ll learn how to dance and care about other people, and not want to put them in a box and shut them up.

Because as the song in the video and the movie it’s from says:

“We are not alone.”


A Proud Member of ‘The Breakfast Club’

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