My late father used to say that sometimes it was hard to write off things as a learning experience. He used to say this whenever me or anyone else was going through something really hard or things just weren’t working out very well. That kind of went against what he also used to say, which was that you’re never given more than you can handle.
To me, you either handle things or you don’t. That’s what keeps you going (or not). Because as much as I loved my father’s words, they were just words and the living was the hard part. Of course he never said things were going to be easy, either which I am forever grateful for.
Now my late grandmother used to say that everything happened for a purpose and a reason though we wouldn’t always know why. She also said we just had to have faith and that when it came to faith she used to say you either had it or you didn’t.
So what is it then? What’s the best piece of advice or motivation here?
I think I’ve taken all of the above and put it together in a hodgepodge way that works for me. I think if I had to phrase it altogether it would probably look like this with some slight modifications:
You don’t know what you can handle until you have to, and you’ll learn from it whether you want to or not. So make the most of what you’ve learned, or will learn and try to apply it if you get the opportunity. And sometimes things do happen for a reason other than shit happening and that you’ve got to have faith that you’ll figure something out. Most of all, don’t let anyone or anything drag you down into a muck of shame and guilt if you don’t handle things to where they’ll all wrapped up in a nice and neat little bow. Because I sure as hell can’t wrap things perfectly.
Why am I writing this, you ask?
Sometimes I think I write stuff like this to as a reminder not to let shit get to me. Because when I calm down, my mind slows down and the fog of bullshit clears, and I begin to see things that I might not have seen before. I believe strongly in intuition and instinct and over the last couple of years I’ve been wanting to really develop that inside myself.
Now I will apologize for not going into any details about my personal life but I have good reasons not to. What I want to do here anyway is share some words of wisdom from beyond the grave in the case of my father, and of my own insights. And no, this isn’t an ego-flex because as I will say till the day I die, I’m not in this for the ego and I sure as hell don’t have all the answers.
Over the years since my parents’ and grandparents’ deaths, I’ve thought of how alone I have felt at times, and how I’ll never be alone as long as I have these memories and these words still being said in my mind. I think these words are playbacks of recorded memory, and hopefully reminders also from the great beyond. Either way, I’ll take them.
Finally, I’d like to say this:
Things will work out in some way. Maybe not the way you wanted them to, or thought they were supposed to. Instead of trying to fit things into a box, realize that unless you’re a cat able to mold yourself into any box of your choice, don’t box yourself in. This is why humans weren’t given the box-molding capabilities of cats (though I have to say my cat is an exception to that rule).