I was feeling a bit down this morning because of things like a perpetually-tight bank account and some body aches and pains that just didn’t seem to want to go away. Of course I told myself to have faith that this crap won’t last forever, followed by the thought that I just needed to keep working towards my goals despite feeling like I’ve gone ten rounds with Godzilla and lost. Then I had this thought: Faith is what you put into it.
My grandmother used to say you either had faith your didn’t, no two ways about it. For a while I didn’t quite agree with that as I thought it didn’t take into account the gray areas of life. I still see those gray areas, but I also see there aren’t many of them. I’m beginning to think that gray areas are mostly indecision, fear, along with pessimism and cynicism where there shouldn’t be.
I want to do better in my life, and I know that I have to work for that. I just can’t curl up in bed and sleep it off like I want to. And by the way, I’m feeling better now that I’m working on this and have gotten up and moved a little. But understand that I’m NOT saying that just getting up and moving is a be-all-end-all solution, either. Those absolute solutions don’t exist at all but faith in finding a way to solve problems does, and that does take into account those times when you just have to sleep it off.
So faith is not only the effort you put into it, but not being too hard on yourself either. Temper that faith with kindness and generate hope and optimism, but keep the cynicism going because there are people and things in the world that deserve to be called out for their stupidity and bullshit.
But as I’ve thought about this idea this morning I’ve begun to realize this is a part of that ‘breaking radio silence’ thing I’ve got going on. In fact, I think I might have found the sub-title for the book with this ‘faith is what you put into it’. The subtitle I’m considering is ‘finding faith in myself through the past and present for the future’ (a bit wordy but worth considering).
This is definitely something I’ll be thinking on for quite a while so stay tuned.